Thanks for the heads up

I came in this morning to find out our campus is undergoing an internal audit by a team from another campus and our VP of Academic Affairs. News to me! Thanks for the big heads up. And it looks like I'll be heading to Virginia in about three weeks to set up the libraries at our two new campuses out there. Cool.
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Had an awesome weekend with our nephew, AW. He is the funniest, cutest thing ever! We took him to Chuck E Cheese where I ate way too much pizza but, I think I worked most of it off playing endless rounds of Skee Ball. AW rocks at Skee Ball for a five year old. Hell for any age. He rolled the ball into that 100,000 points hole three times!

On Sunday I was determined to work some physical activity into our weekend so we headed over to the Red Oak Nature Center and explored the trails around there. There is a beautiful observation deck that overlooks the Fox River where we stopped to take pictures before hiking to Devil's Cave. It's a small cave with a low ceiling so The Saint and I had to squat inside it. I tried not to think about what might be crawling or flying around inside the cave while we were in there. The Saint was so impressed I even came up with the idea of going to Red Oaks. Normally any encounter with nature leaves me freaked out and screaming like the girl that I am. I hate bugs, spiders and insects of any kind, I'm always afraid of stumbling across a snake like I did once while walking the trail at the Willowbrook Wildlife Center and I never used to walk through the forest without a hat on for fear of something (tick, bird shit, etc.) falling on my head. But I managed to handle our Sunday hike without incident or freaking AW out by shrieking in fear.

What can I say? It's a new me.

Pity Party

If you saw a fat, blonde woman in a black Sentra, flying down I-355 at about 6:50 am this morning, windows down, the Scorpions' "No One Like You" blaring, that was me. Hope I didn't scare you. I was trying to banish my leftover blues, hoping they would be swept out of me and the car by the wind and loud music. And it worked. Pretty much.

Yesterday I read an awesome post by Jonathan titled "I believe" and it was like this huge lightbulb went on for me. I have been so big picturing things in the health and fitness arena that I haven't been paying attention to the work that needs to be done on a daily basis. I kind of knew I had been doing that but didn't really know how counterproductive it was or how to fix it. Even focusing on one day at a time is beyond me right now. I need to break it down into even smaller increments. Like how can I stay on plan for the next hour or two.

I seem to be doing ok with long term planning and goals with my walking. I'm cool with that but my eating! Woo man. I think I've mentioned that I feel out of control at worst and inconsistent at best. So no more looking down the road for me. No more focusing on my goal weight or even weekly goals. In fact, I may just stop weighing myself all together for the time being. Yeah, right!

Anyway, today I am going to focus on just getting through one hour at a time. For one hour can I stay away vending machines, or the doughnuts in the Education Office or the candy in Financial Aid? Maybe. Maybe not.

And this self doubt, wishy-washiness, lack of willpower or whatever it is that is making losing weight so damn hard for me, really depressed me last night and hence, the pity party. I still hit the treadmill for 30 minutes, called my dad, did 2 loads of laundry, cooked dinner, and made my lunch for today but, I was in bed, remote in hand, by 7:30 last night.

I was too depressed to read (a rarity, believe me) and The Saint was holed up in his office, the sounds of Led Zeppelin leaking under the closed door. I flipped back and forth between the Saints-Patriots game, "Man with the Golden Gun" and bad music videos on "We Are The 80s." I actually watched the horrible video for Donna Summer's "She Works Hard for the Money" followed by the equally horrendous Pointer Sisters' "I'm so Excited." I even sat through an Icicle Works video. Yikes.

The Saint, sensing my mood, joined me at around 9 and gave me an awesome backrub. He has the strongest hands and gives the best rubs! He's also going with me to my dad's tonight and taking us all out to dinner. That way I won't have to go up there Saturday morning and I can stay home, finish the laundry and do some cleaning before our nephew AW comes for a sleepover.

So long story short, I have a new focus, I'm feeling better and it's FRIDAY!!!

Best of all, my mid morning snack is only 42 minutes away.

Oh no, not the mall! Anything but the mall....

If I gave The Saint a choice between sticking a hot poker in his eye or going to the mall, he'd really have to think about it. Seriously.

Therefore, unfortunately for him, we have two weddings coming up in September and since he's been working out and cutting back on his beer, he needed a new jacket, shirt and tie. Hence the trip to the mall last night amidst much crying, whining and gnashing of teeth. I keep telling him that when people ask if I have children I tell them "Yeah, one, and he's 34."

We managed to get him a nice outfit and I even talked him into buying a pair of Nike walking shoes so he can break them in before the 3K. His biceps are like rocks now and he's got a really sexily defined arm thing going on. And his beer belly has gone way down. Mmmmm.

I only bought a little black purse last night. I already have my outfit for the weddings. I'm wearing the same thing to both since different people will be at both. It's a 3 piece black outfit: shell, jacket and pants. The last time I wore it was to a wedding in May 2004 and it was so snug I couldn't button the jacket and the shell was hideously tight. I tried it on the other night and it fits great except if I lose anymore weight between now and September 4th (right, with the way I've been eating lately) the pants will be too big.

In a last ditch effort to get some kind of grip on my eating, I've dug out my little blue notebook so I can resume recording every little bit of food that passes my lips. I've got way too much mindless eating going on right now.

In other news, my beloved White Sox have dropped four in a row but I'm not panicking. Much.

Birthday Bash

I worked Saturday. Nothing like working six days in a row to mess with your fitness and nutrition efforts. However, I got a really good walk in on Sunday morning so I can't complain too much. And Saturday night I made Zuccini Oven Chips and Shrimp Pad Thai using recipes from the current issue of Cooking Light. Yum! So maybe the weekend wasn't as bad as I thought.

Sunday was the long awaited, much anticipated birthday bash for our nephew AW at Choo Choo Johnny's. He doesn't turn 5 until the 16th but since this restaurant is about 1 1/2 hours from where most of the family lives, we had to do it Sunday.

We drove over to The Saint's brother's house so we could all drive to Choo Choo Johnny's together in their van. Thank God we did because we got kind of lost and it was better that we were all in one car. But let me back up for a minute. For some reason AW and his sister RM wore costumes to the restaturant. Not that they weren't adorable but it just seemed odd to me.
AW was dressed as a Los Lonely Boy. He loves that group and knows all their names and their songs. He had on a Los Lonely Boys t-shirt, jeans and a bandana around his head. RM was dressed as Cinderella, glass (plastic) slippers, blue ball gown and all.

There are booths along the walls of the restaurant but we sat at the U-shaped counter. The waitress sounds a whistle and a train comes out from the kitchen with your food on it, running on tracks along the inside edge of the counter. The waitress stops the train in front of your seat and takes the food off the train for you. Very cool, especially for the kids, and the staff was great.

AW is going to spend the weekend with us next weekend and we'll probably take him to Chuck E. Cheese. He's so cute and funny. We put some money in the college fund we set up for him and my sister-in-law told him because I had written a note on the card. I think she said "Yea, you got more money for college!" and he said, with a really puzzled look on his face "I'm ready for college?" For someone starting kindergarten in a few weeks, college seems so far away but according to my calculations it's only 13 years away.

What is up with my eating?

I just cannot seem to get a handle on my eating. I have no consistency. I can have the most nutritionally perfect breakfast and then make the worst possible choice for lunch. Or stick to my plan all day until I get home where I end up eating everything in sight. It is so frustrating.

And the most frustrating part is that I have the power to control what I eat. I make the decisions so there is no one else to blame but me. To eat or not to eat has been the question and obviously to eat, and then eat even more has been the answer. Ugh!

The only bright spot has been my dedication to walking. I'm so on it and loving it and doing it almost every day. ANd it's the only thing keeping my weight in check at this point.

But I don't want to be holding steady, I want to be losing which I won't be if I don't stop putting every bit of food that crosses my path, into my mouth!

Bridal Shower Hell

I attended two bridal showers this weekend: one on Saturday and one on Sunday. The one on Saturday was so different from any shower experience I have ever had that I'm still reeling from it. In fact, I had dreams about showers last night. I dreamt I kept getting invitations to them and that all my weekends from now through the end of the year were filled with nothing but showers.

And why do they serve fattening food at bridal showers when inevitably the bride, the mothers and the entire bridal party are on diets?

The shower on Saturday was for friend of mine and I have had limited exposure to her family. I knew they were kind of messed up and white trashy but woo boy! At one point her uncle, a deadringer for a young Sam Elliott, came out into this backyard full of women sans shirt. All he had on were black jeans, black work boots and a cigarette stuck in the corner of his mouth. I was there half an hour before anyone offered me a drink and the appetizers were some ripped open bags of chips tossed on a table. Lunch was ok. No dessert. No favors. The shower was given by her aunts and what was really weird was that none of them bought her anything off her registries. They all got her picture frames and/or photo albums. No lie, if she got one picture frame she got 15. But for the most part my friend was happy and enjoyed herself so it was worth the hour drive to attend.

I'm sure this all sounds really judgmental but I can't help it. Any social event like this and my etiquette gene kicks into overdrive. I grew up with a mother that could put Emily Post to shame. When I got married, I had an engagement party, three bridal showers, a rehearsal dinner, a wedding ceremony and a reception all done absolutely by the book.

The shower on Sunday was more like what I'm used to and only three hours long. I ended up being half an hour late because I went to the golf club where the reception is going to be rather than to the country club where the shower was being held. D'oh! My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were waiting anxiously for me because I am more likely to be 30 minutes early than 30 minutes late. They called The Saint to see when I'd left the house and he was supremely unworried that I was late. He just assumed I got lost since I have no sense of direction.

Speaking of lost, I did get turned around trying to get home from Saturday's shower. I was on my cell phone with The Saint and trying to figure out how to get back to the highway. I heard him sigh then he said "Just do the opposite on your way back. If you turned right off Cicero onto 175th, then turn left off 175th to get back on Cicero." That's easy for him to say, he's not directionally challenged!

And despite two showers and a trip to my dad's this weekend, I did squeeze in time to walk. No easy feat believe me! So I'm giving myself today off.

Back to normal

Today is really the first pain free day I've had since Saturday's 5K. How ridiculous is that? I think I just walked way too fast and everything on my right leg from the top of my knee to the tips of my toes hurt. Especially painful is the area right above my ankle. Yowza!

Pain or not I've kept walking. I did take Sunday off but, I've walked each day since hoping to walk off whatever the problem was and I guess it worked. If the pain had gotten worse I would've stopped but it didn't so I had no excuse to stop walking.

When my brother and I were kids and we would get hurt, our dad would always say to us "You're ok just walk if off. That's it, shake it off." To this day, B and I joke about it. We could have a broken arm or be bleeding and dad would still say "Walk it off." The Saint and I were in a really serious car accident about 5 months before our wedding and the first thing my brother said to me when they finally let him see me in the Emergency Room was "What are you still doing in bed? C'mon walk it off!" It was the only possible thing that could've made me smile at that moment.

So I guess I had my dad's voice in my head this week every time I got back on the treadmill and for once, he was right.

My next event is a 3k at the end of August. The Saint will be walking with me and since he's a newbie, I decided to take it easy on him in his first event. I can't wait!