Bye Bye February

I can't believe it's almost March 1st. Where oh where does the time go? My birthday is April 3rd so that means I have a little over a year left to reach my goal weight. Am I going to make it or will I hit 40 and still be grossly overweight? The tick tock of my weight loss clock just got a little louder...

I hit the treadmill 4 days last week and I feel pretty good about that. I miss walking outside and wish it were a little warmer around here but I can be patient.

Last year I used local 5ks as a way to motivate myself to diet and exercise and it worked well for a while. The first event I participated in was a fundraiser for a local library called the Dewey Dash. They're holding it again this year and since it kicks off their National Library Week activities it must be the weekend of April 1st. I told The Saint I want to walk in it again this year and he may even walk in it with me.

It seems as if everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby. I get a faint, little twinge when I hear someone is pregnant but nothing more than that. I'm happy with my life with The Saint. And the cats. How could I forget the cats? Devlin had me up to feed him at 3:20 am twice last week! And then there's AW and RM.

We went out to dinner last Friday night to celebrate my BIL's birthday and AW and RM were so excited it was their daddy's birthday. When RM walked into the restaurant, she ran right to me, threw her arms around me, gave me a big kiss and said "I love you Auntie." She insisted I sit next to her at dinner, take her potty and generally talk to her all night. She also sang the national anthem for me into her straw. She knows all the words. She's three years old.

So it's the start of a new week, almost the start of a new month and I resolve to keep walking and make a stronger commitment to better eating.

Whoa, Where Did That Come From?

I had this conversation with my brother Big B last Wednesday and I can't get it out of my head.

My brother and I are really close. We had a messy childhood, lots of people do, but the thing that made it bearable was that we had each other. No matter how many times we moved or got bounced back and forth between our parents, we stayed together. My dad understands and respects our bond. It drives our mother crazy. She's jealous of it and tries, in little ways, to undermine it.

So anyway, we were talking on Wednesday about this upcoming meeting (intervention) we're having with my dad and my uncles and I said I wanted it to be clear that the uncles came to us, we didn't go to them for help. I don't want my dad to feel we betrayed him or plotted behind his back. My brother disagrees because he feels we're beyond the point of caring about Dad's feelings. But I do care about his feelings because I want to continue to have a relationship with him while I got the impression that Big B didn't care about a relationship with Dad.

And basically he agreed that if he never saw either of our parents again, it wouldn't bother him. I think it would but I wasn't going to argue with him. And then he said that he doesn't want me to think badly of him for feeling that way.

Huh? If anyone understands how high maintenance, selfish and downright crazy our parents can be, it's me! When and why would I judge him? Does he feel like I've been judging him?

And he went on to say that he gets really frustrated with me for not cutting our parents out of my life because he hates to watch me get hurt over and over. That I don't seem to learn from experience with them. He doesn't understand why I don't take his advice about them and totally minimize contact with them. Why am I trying to have this great relationship with Dad this late in life and why all of a sudden am I spending more time with Mom, especially when we can see she's reverting to some of her old behaviors.

All I can say is that they are my parents and I am unable to completely walk away from them. I want and need a relationship with them.

Needless to say I'm up .5 pound this week. Ugh!

They're Called Memes...

The Meme That Will Never Die

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Librarian
2. Gas station attendant
3. Hallmark
4. Bagger at a grocery store

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. The Godfather
2. The Godfather II
3. A Christmas Story
4. The Thin Man

Four places I’ve lived:
1. San Mateo, CA
2. Chicago, IL
3. Evanston, IL
4. Lisle, IL

Four TV shows I love:
1. 24
2. The Shield
3. 30 Minute Meals
4. Rescue Me

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Warsaw, Poland
2. Toronto
3. Myrtle Beach, SC
4. New York City

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Shrimp scampi
2. Fajitas
3. BBQ ribs
4. Greek salad

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Mia Goddess
2. Go Fug Yourself
3. TheLibrary of Congress
4. Spark People

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Anywhere with The Saint
2. Sleeping in my bed
3. A bookstore
4. Cooking