Bike vs. Treadmill

The Saint told me over the weekend that my stomach was looking flatter. Yeah, right, I thought to myself at the time.

But he was right and I'll tell you how I know. I think I have such a distorted image of how I REALLY look that looking in the mirror does me no good. The true test of whether I'm getting smaller, other than the scale, is my clothes. The clothes don't lie!

So today I am wearing my favorite lilac top and black pants. I ALWAYS wear black pants to work. In fact, I have five pair of black pants (same style, brand and size) that I wear to work. All that changes are the tops. But I digress. This lilac top is my belly & hip barometer. It buttons up the front so I can tell how much smaller my belly has gotten by how flat the buttons lay. And it kind of clings to my hips and if they've gone down then it's not so clingy. My belly definitely was looking flatter today and my trusty black pants are totally baggy.

This is a long introduction to what I actually wanted to talk about today which is the bike vs. the treadmill. I don't think the treadmill changes my body the way the stationary bike does. My eating is borderline. I've got one foot in the dieting camp and one in the junk food camp. I haven't 100% committed myself to one camp or the other although more often than not I'm in the dieting camp. But my clothes keep getting looser and my belly flatter and I think it's due in part to my switch to the bike. A few years ago I lost about 50 pounds and all my exercise came from using the bike and I seem to remember my belly getting much flatter then too. From bike riding...

I don't know why I think it's weird but I do. I guess because the treadmill seems to make me sweat more, it takes more effort and I stayed on it longer. I sweat when I'm on the bike just not as much and I am, after all sitting down so sometimes it doen't seem like exercise. I feel almost guilty.

But I like my bike again. It's been a really long time since I've ridden it with any regularity.

In the recent issue of WW magazine, I read a stat that went something like this: 50% of people get bored and quit their exercise routine within 3-6 months.

We know exercise is not my thing. I hate it. So maybe the key for me is to switch it up every few months or if I'm feeling particularly antsy, do different things even within the same week.
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Tonight is the meeting with my dad and my uncle. According to my uncle my dad is anxious to patch things up with me but I keep thinking it's because he knows he can't be on his own, he and Big B haven't spoken to each other since March 23rd and if I don't take care of him, who will? During the Big Blowup of March 23-34 my dad even said to me "If I don't have you I have nothing."

But I don't take that as a you're-such-a-great-daughter-and-I-love-you-so-much-and-I 'd-be-heartbroken-without-you-in-my-life statement as much as I do a oh-shit-I-can't-piss-her-off-because-who's-going-to-pay-my-bills-get-me-my-meds-and-give-me-grocery-money statement. Whatever. I've made my decision, my line in the sand if you will and while I will always be a part of his life it's going to be on my terms and the not the terms he's been dictating for the past 3 years. He can take it or leave it.

TGIF

I have a hellishly busy Friday but come 4 PM, it's the weekend, baby! Woo-hoo! The Saint and I are trying a new place for dinner and then we're going grocery shopping. I went to Sam's Club yesterday to buy coffee for my dad and ended up buying a gynormous thing of tomatoes. I think I'll be whipping up a batch of salsa this weekend but those are my only concrete plans.

Because for the first time in what seems like forever, The Saint and I have no social obligations this weekend. A weekend to do nothing but watch some of the stuff I've Tivoed or one of the three movies from Netflix that have been sitting on the counter for weeks. I may cook. The Saint and I will definetly be spending some quality time together if you know what I mean.
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I've been using the stationary bike every night instead of the treadmill or my WATP tape and it's been good. What's not so good is that this morning I've had random shooting pains in my right knee. Youch! It's happened about three times: twice when walking down the hall and once while I was sitting at my desk. I hope this is just some pasing thing and not a sign of something more serious. It sure hurts like hell, let me tell you.
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Talked to my father yesterday. Briefly. For someone who wants to fix our relationship he sure was an ass. He couldn't talk to me for long because he had to walk to the store and he told me it takes him two trips to get everything. I offered once again to schedule a senior bus pickup for him and he refused. Fine, be stubborn.

The only thing that scared me was he said he didn't feel well on Wednesday and wouldn't elaborate other than to say it didn't have anything to do with his blood sugar. Wonderful.

Easter candy hangover

Why oh why does Easter candy have to be so tasty? And irresistable? Solid chocolate eggs. Jellybeans. Robin Eggs which are candy coated Whoppers. Junior Mints. Candy corn.

OK, maybe Junior Mints and candy corn aren't traditional Easter candies but I like them and that's what I got in my Easter basket.

My weekend was a total disaster in terms of eating (too much) and exercising (not at all). Consequently, I feel like crap today and it doesn't help that I'm short staffed, they've turned off the heat in the building, I'm freezing and I'm chugging water like I've been lost in the desert for a month. Needless to say, I've been in the bathroom to pee about 5 times in the past 2 hours.
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My uncle called me last week on behalf of my father, who according to my uncle, wants to salvage his relationship with me. And I quote, "Nichole is my life. if I don't have her, I have nothing." Nothing like a little pressure! Honestly, how do I turn my back on that? I talked it over with the Big B and The Saint and they both agreed it would be totally against my personality to completely cut him out of my life but that for my own sake, I need to set some groundrules and not take any shit from him. Easier said than done but, I hear what they're saying.

So my uncle and I are going to my dad's on the 26th for a little face-to-face chat. How insane has my life become personally and professionally that I had to actually schedule time with my dad?

I think my dad is trying not to rock the boat between now and the 26th because he keeps calling me at home during the day when he knows I'm out and leaving messages. So he's keeping in touch without actually having to talk to me. He did it yesterday when we were at The Saint's brother's for Easter. Left a message wishing us a happy Easter and when we got home and I returned his call, he didn't answer the phone. Whatever.
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My plan for the week is to get my ass back on the treadmill and/or the bike and to bring my lunch to work. No more eating out!

55:02

I did not let the flu or temperatures in the 30s deter me and instead showed up at 8:30 am Saturday morning for the Dewey Dash. With the ever faithful (and incredibly sexy in his new blue track pants) Saint by my side, we finished in 55:02 meeting both my goals: don't finish last and finish under an hour.

Not that it was easy mind you because the first half mile kicked my ass. I was out of breath and it felt like The Saint had tied weights to the top of my shoes when I wasn't looking. We were in last place and race personnel were on our heels in their Chevy Blazer. I hate that! Eventually I settled down, got into a groove and got my breathing under control so we could actually have a conversation.

That was the best part of the race. Me and my man walking along, talking and doing something good for us. He loved it and can't wait for the next one which is May 20th fundraiser for a homeless shelter.
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Sunday we went to the The Saint's parents' house for Palm Sunday dinner. I got the last of my birthday presents (Cuisinart blender/food processor, stainless steel colanders, and a pasta pot) and to spend time with the niece RM and nephew AW. We colored Easter Eggs, AW had everyone outside at least once to play driveway hockey with him and RM fell asleep in my lap during the baseball game. She smelled like baby shampoo and the skin of her cheek was so soft next to mine. I whispered in her ear "I love you, R" and she murmured back drowsily, "I love you too, Auntie." It doesn't get any better than that.

The only shadow cast on the day was of course, cast by my family. My uncles were supposed to go up to my dad's to discuss his health, his finances and the ongoing feud he has with Big B and me. I tried not think about it but it was in the back of my mind all day. I expected to come home and find a message on my machine from one of my uncles but no just one from the Big B. I called him back and he just wanted to know if I had heard anything because he hadn't. Do you think one of my uncles could've called to give us a quick update for Pete's sake?! Sheesh!

Age is just a number

I turned 39 yesterday. It was cause for some reflection:

• I am no where near my goal weight
• I am healthier than I was at this time last year
• My family continues to be a source of stress in my life
• I'm not sure which direction I want to take my career
• The Saint still knows me better than I know myself and loves me no matter what

After I had enough of the reflecting business, I got busy, mindful of my wonky back and the fact that I felt slightly nauseous all day:

• I visited with the in-laws, who are back in town, and came to pick up Little Guy
• I started a new book (is it possible to have a crush on a fictional character because if so, Elvis Cole is the current object of my affection)
• Cleaned the laundry room
• Spent 60 minutes on the treadmill
• Watched Opening Day baseball

The Saint and I went out to dinner with the in-laws and I ate like I wasn't on a diet. Today I either have a food hangover or the flu. As soon as my assistant gets here, I'm headed back home.

I got quite the haul present wise yesterday. More Robert Crais books, cookbooks, a subscription to Paula Deen's magazine, instant lottery tickets, and The Saint, who never forgets my inner child, got me this. I love it!

I've put yesterday behind me and I'm focusing on making it to my goal weight this next year and in participating in as many 5Ks as I can.

Speaking of 5ks, my in-laws plan on being at the Dewey Dash on Saturday to cheer on The Saint and me. They are so awesome. I am so lucky to have them in my life. Not that they're perfect but I know they love and support me. Truly. I'm very blessed.